I don’t know how to pray.

I’m in a place spiritually that I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced…….

I don’t seem to know how to pray.  I know that I need to, and have plenty of stuff to pray for, but nothing seems to come out.  It all seems empty, trivial, repeated, redundant, worthless, dry……..

 Plenty of stuff to pray for:

– My best friend’s dad is in the hospital

–  We can’t even get an offer on our townhouse, much less sell it.  I probably owe my realtor an apology.  I kind of went off on him yesterday.

–  Credit card debt continues to increase.

–  I have a conversation (maybe difficult) hanging over my head.

–  I am totally unmotivated to help take care of our home.  Laundry, dishes, dinner for the kids, making my own lunch…… Could care less.  Good husband huh?  That doesn’t even take into account all the stuff that needs repair.

– I miss my dog.

– I’ve gained all of the weight back, plus some.  I now weigh more than I ever have.

–  I’m tired of winter.

–  There’s a dozen other things that I’m forgetting.

There God.  It’s out in the open.  Now what?

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5 Comments

Filed under "Head" issues, "Heart" issues, Life change

5 responses to “I don’t know how to pray.

  1. You could always go to the health club and use their towels. That would be progress toward two of the issues anyway.

  2. Jon F

    Doug,
    I have regular periods where I feel overwhelmed by a seemingly endless list of things to do (one darn thing after another) or problems/difficulties I face and it feels so much that I just drop my hands and want to give up. I have developed a couple of simple things that help me through these times. One is I pick a small thing around the house (make the bed, put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket, wash the dishes) and I do it then congratulate myself for having done it well and for finishing it. It gives me a sense of closure that I have completed something, and a sense of well-being when I congratulate myself. The other thing I do is to write down all the things that need doing and just start ticking them off one by one as I do them. I’m often amazed at how much better I feel even when I’ve done just one or two things that ended up only taking a few minutes.
    Often when I end up feeling yucky about life in general it can be all because there are in reality just a relatively few loose ends I just need to knuckle down and tidy up. Doug – don’t be too hard on yourself. Praise yourself for all the wins you have each day and the stuff you have completed well. Go ahead and sing a song of praise by Doug to Doug – I’m sure God will not mind (and may even join in).
    One final thought is that at one level your body is a machine, and won’t run that well if it is not getting the right mix of food. Your weight issues aside, the fact that you are feeling down may be in part your body telling you that you simply need to be eating a more healthy diet.
    One final thought in answer to your question “Now what?”. That’s where you come in. Now what, Doug, now what? What happens next is what you decide happens next. What’s it going to be?
    Just ideas and suggestions. Take what serves you, disregard the rest.
    Regards,
    Jon

  3. Great words Jon. I tend to be a list guy, so stepping up in that way should help with the “to dos”.

    I’m also horrible at cutting myself some slack. I beat myself up, and then feel bad and beat myself up, and then feel bad and beat myself up, etc.

    Thanks for the encouraging words!!

  4. tom

    Hey Doug

    I’m with ya on the praying thing. It is the most important and effective thing we can do… for Pete’s sake, it’s spending time with our Dad!… but it’s also the hardest to do. That blows, doesn’t it?

    I’ve been focusing on the verse in Isaish 64 that says that all our righteous acts are like filthy rags. We often feel like we can’t go to Him because of our sin, but even our righteous acts – make the bed, tithing, feeding the homeless, taking care of the kids, planting a church – are like disgusting, hazardous waste in His eyes. (Doesn’t mean He doesn’t want us to do those things, but not as a means of impressing Him.)

    That means He won’t love me a smidge more if I do any of those things. Hardest thing to get your mind around is that God does not some future version of you once you finally get it all together. He doesn’t love that person any more than who you are today. (This isn’t some self-esteem “I’m okay the way I am” thing – fact is, both present me and future me equally suck.)

    So what’s left? I think all that’s left is putting the lists and plans and requests away and just falling at His feet and claiming the blood of Jesus. Just wallowing in that. Curl up in the fetal position beneath that. Letting it be enough.

    Then, I think, God says, “That’s what I’m talking about!” Maybe that doesn’t help you at all, but it’s helped me a bit lately.

  5. twolimeleaves

    Hi Doug!
    I hear you, man! I, too, currently am the heaviest I’ve ever been and plenty of the other things in this post affect me, too.
    I believe God “get’s it”. We don’t have to always be articulating what’s in our hearts and heads. Desire is prayer, and God knows our desires. You are praying every time you recognise that you have a need.
    K xx

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