Did God make me afraid?

Last night at my “appt.”, we had a disagreement concerning fear and where it comes from.  We were discussing what would happen if I ignored my “hunger” pangs, and after a few minutes (of me being generally clueless to all things psychological), we agreed that ultimately if I never ate, I would eventually die.  We then discussed that this fear of dieing was actually at the base of all of my “issues”, but that there was a number of layers that needed to be revealed before we get to that point.

I told him that I’m not afraid to die.  My salvation in Christ has freed me from that.  He then told me that God created us with that fear of death.  I disagreed.  I told him that fear is not of God.  God is love and 1 John 4:18 says There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

 It is my understanding that God allows us to experience fear based on the choices that we make, and that fear is a survival mechanism, but He did not give us a fear of dieing.

 Set me straight folks.  I’m afraid of something, and that’s why I comfort myself with food and/or spending.  But I’m not afraid of death.



Filed under "Head" issues, "Heart" issues, Life change

4 responses to “Did God make me afraid?

  1. If I think about “what will happen if I don’t satisfy that craving”, I usually think that I’m afraid I won’t get any-it’ll be gone next time its appropriate to eat it(like NOT at 11 pm before bed). Get it now before its gone–kind of like the 12 hour sale phenomenon. If you don’t buy it now, it will never be on sale again and this is the only way you will be able to have what you want. Its a self preservation mechanism for me. If I don’t take care of me, no one else will. Hey, that’s deep. Its a good picture of my past. Thanks for letting me borrow your “appt” as my own!

  2. Dan Harrison

    Okay — I’ll reply. And I’m even confronting my fear — that of posting my opinion where everyone in the world can read it. It is one thing to be opinionated in my house, or over coffee. It is another to put said opinion all over the internet.

    Knowing you as well as I do, which is about as well as one man can know another man without crossing into sin, I would not say that you are afraid of death. I do think that you, along with all of us musicians, have some insecurities — and perhaps those insecurities left to grow and multiply, turn into fears.

    Also, I would agree with you that I don’t think God put fear into us. I think God wants the exact opposite for us, freedom. Fear is restricting — freedom is release. Fear is bondage, something holding you hostage — freedom is peace.

    I think you also touched on a great point. There are healthy fears and unhealthy fears. We are to “fear the Lord.” When my children are in the swimming pool, I want them to have a “healthy fear” of the water. I don’t want them to be afraid of it, but a little fear will hopefully keep them safe.

    . . . and that’s all I have to say about that.

  3. Brenda

    I have to agree with Dan about the insecurities. Is it possible that by keeping the weight on, it becomes an excuse as to why someone might reject you instead of looking at the real reason for the rejection, which is often much more difficult to deal with. For example, you once wrote that you wanted to be a worship leader, but you wondered who would want to hire you (based on your appearance). To me, that statement was very much rooted in fear. It becomes easier to blame the weight than to think that maybe your musical ability or leadership ability wasn’t what they were looking for (hypothetically) or worse yet, your spiritual health (again, hypothetically). If you were a stealth, hunk of a man and were turned down, you would have to look at the real reasons behind it, and that can be a painful reality. How much easier to blame something external such as weight.
    There are so many “external” things that people use as an excuse for rejection. Appearance issues of any kind, financial status, etc. It becomes a mantra of sorts. I had body issues as to why guys wouldn’t want to date me in college. The fact is, those issues probably had nothing to do with it, but were more likely a result of something more substantial having to do with my character. Ouch. Much easier to blame my body than to deal with fixing my character. I was in denial for a long time. Wasted a lot of time and ruined too many relationships.
    I hope all of this made sense. My opinion is that it is a fear of rejection, not death. Hang in there Doug. I’m praying for discernment for you.

  4. Pam Wheeler

    I don’t know who Brenda is – but I must say I agree with her. FEAR OF REJECTION. Sometimes attached to that is the fear of being judged, fear of not being liked. I went to High School with Doug. I don’t know what it was like for a guy, but I know my overeating stems way back to being accepted, or NOT being accepted by what I thought were the right people. I also know that there is a big performance anxiety in me that can’t possibly be satisfied no matter how well I do in any one thing.
    Sometimes you just have to go back a long way to find out what roots your stems are attached to. Seems that when you can’t control the fear, or the actions of other people, you control the one thing that is the most comfortable. For some, that is alcohol, drugs. For me that is food.

    Silly how easy it is for Satan to get in and pervert all of this for us and keep us in constant turmoil and defeat.

    We have the Victory though.

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