Ok, I’ll post……..

but I’m not sure what’s actually going to travel from my head to my fingers (hence the title of this site!).

I haven’t posted in a while for a number of reasons, none of which are really good reasons, but they’re mine so you’ll just have to accept them and move on.

We got the townhouse finished, and physically I’ve taken a bit of a break.  Mentally, I’ve been stressing about actually getting a renter so we don’t have to pay 2 mortgages.  It appears that we’ll have one as of Feb. 1 (Praise God) which only leaves our refinancing and THAT process.  I’d say by mid-February, the townhouse will be officially buttoned up, we’ll be collecting our rent, and I can put it to bed.

With that out of the way, I feel as if I’m kind of re-entering “life”.  I was actually able to go and see my chiropractor yesterday, and will be resuming my other “appts.” today, after neglecting both for the last 3 months.  I’m just glad that they have both agreed to see me again, without having to jump through a bunch of hoops.

Let’s see…. what else is going on.

I’m stuggling again with my career, but at the end of the day it seems that I don’t really know what else I’d like to do.  I only seem to know what I don’t want to do.  The thought of doing this for 20+ more years………..  I can’t finish the sentence.  I’m not sure it would be appropriate.

It’s the beginning of another new year, so that always directs me towards things that I’d like to do better, or fix the things that I don’t do so well.  At the top of the list is ALWAYS my weight.  My wife deemed 2006 the year to get Doug happy (we talked the other night and decided we did pretty well), and I deemed 2007 the year to get Doug healthy.  Ten days in, and I can’t really say much has changed.  I guess I have been doing a better job of eathing with the exception of after dinner each night.  I seem to always end up in some sort of feeding frenzy sometime around 9:00 that honestly, I don’t really even want to fight off.  I got up the other morning with the intention of walking, but decided it was too cold, and I didn’t know where my sweats were, or my stocking hat.  So I didn’t go.  I haven’t gotten up to do it since.  I just don’t want to.

What does this say about me?  I don’t want my career anymore….. I don’t really want to eat right or exercise.  Unfortunately, I need to work to support my family and I really need to improve my  “level of fitness” if I have any hope of seeing my kids graduate from H.S.  It’s probably my depression kicking in, but I’ll deal with that at my other “appt.” this evening.

Now don’t get me wrong.  There’s a lot of great stuff going on  at the same time.  My marriage has never been better.  We’ll celebrate 11 years in just a few weeks.  My kids are awesome!  They struggle with the same things that all 5 1/2, 4, and 2 1/2 year olds struggle with;  not sharing toys, not listening to mom, not liking what mom puts on the table for lunch.  But it’s getting better, especially now that I’m home more to help out.  And man are they funny!!!  I also LOVE my church.  I look forward to going every sunday, and leave with a better understanding of God and how much I need Him.

I also love to serve.  I think if I could, or  had the opportunity, I’d do it full time.  I’d love to be a full time church leader, musician, singer, player, transcriber, scheduler, writer, etc.  I love doing it all.  I always have.  But for whatever reason, God hasn’t yet blessed me yet with a real opportunity, and there’s none really on the horizon.

And then there’s my wife’s surgery on friday……….. we’ve been told it’s probably nothing serious………    As someone who’s glass tends to be half empty, I focus too much on the “probably” and not enough on the “nothing” part of that statement.

I told you I wasn’t sure what would come out…….. Happy New year?



Filed under "Head" issues, Church stuff, Home Remodeling, Kids

2 responses to “Ok, I’ll post……..

  1. tom


    Your post wasn’t nearly as dire as you warned me about. You actually seem to have a pretty good perspective on things.

    As I read, it occurred to me that our lives are very much like little row boats. After a certain amount of years, we develop little holes that we plug up. Some continue to leak but they don’t sink us. The best we can do is rearrange the plugs to minimize the seepage.

    You guys live in one of the top 5 most expensive places to live in the country (top 5 most competitive job mkts, too). You probably could move to a more affordable area of the country, get a house for around 90k, get a music job in a smaller church. But that would really be rearranging the plugs. You’d probably miss what you loved about the Chicago area. (friends, church, family, etc.) So there would be seepage in other areas. Have to decide where the biggest leaks are.

    I love Pittsburgh, but really miss some of the peer relationships I had in Chicago that I really haven’t been able to find here. Nobody here to go get a coffee or beer with. Seepage.

    But we still keep afloat. Oh, look, dolphins!

  2. Good words man!

    We’ve considered moving a number of times, but know that now is just not the time.

    I’ll just have to keep praying about a music job, in the hopes that a smaller church somewhere, with a pastor that I feel comfortable with, will someday need a music coordinator of some kind. :^)

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